France Votes No On European Constitution and Movie on TV review

I guess Western Europe is trying to stabilize a unifying mechanism that will solidify, nay enhance, their global reach...blech!

In other news, I watched the end of Crocodile Dundee in Los Angeles this afternoon! Paul Hogan's lazy charm is the only reason why I fell asleep during the first hour 15 of this monstrosity of goodness. The way he so breezily floats through his lines, his action fighting sequences...his lines, well some more cynical than I might attribute it to a lazy B-movie star using his small spit-shine of past glory to stuff a phat check in his rear pocket for only a month's worth of inane, imaginatively complacent glorified read-throughs but not this kiddo mate. I see a fine fine actor making a statement through his work that for all the mad dog Mel Gibson's, the risible Russell Crowe's, there was an Australian 'OG' in the Hollywood hood and his catch line was "that's not a penis...this is a penis!" Or something like that.

Quick aside: a friend informed me Paul Hogan left his wife and three kids upon meeting the actress Linda Kozlowski on the set of the first Crocodile Dundee. So take that Brad Pitt! You and Jen didn't even have a baby yet when you split. You call that love! I know, I know...A dingo ate their baby. Hah! Not that funny.

Anyway back to the actual movie. First off in such a movie the villain is always key and I tip my hat to the choice here: Jere freaking Burns! If you don't know who that is then I guess you weren't a big fan of Judd Hirsch's post-Taxi career. Mr. Burns plays the role of Arnan Rothman who, besides clearly being the name of some extinct former Hollywood producer that pissed off one of the screenwriters, is an illegal art exporter/movie producer (wink). Well he has his grubby mits on some rare priceless art thought to have been destroyed in the Serbian war and he's shipped them to Los Angeles as movie props for a new film where in one of the scenes the art is set on fire. Except the art set on fire will actually be fakes of the priceless art he has secretly shipped to the US. I'm tired.

Anyway things ensue and it's not even important. I just want to get to the best part. The part that demands you sit through the whole rest of this mess and it happens right before the credits roll. Dundee gets married in the end to the chick he was banging behind his wives back during the filming of the first movie and she throws her bouquet up in the air. It lands in some river and an enormous croc-of-shit- excuse me- enormous crocodile launches out of the water and grabs it. Cut to: Dundee and his brother(?) nodding at each other and slowly taking off their tuxedo jackets...FREEZE FRAME. Cue the Men at Work song "Land Down Under." Roll credits. And that's a wrap. Snazzy indeed. There are some things too complete to be parodied. This is just an example. Did I mention Mike Tyson makes a cameo?


Look at the size of that...cellphone! C'mon Hogan man this ain't 1989 baby. Hows about a little realism in your press material?