You Say it's Your Birthday?

You share the same birthday as tennis great Ivan Lendl, talk show host Tammy Faye Bakker, acclamied naturalist Luther Burbank, composer of the Czech national anthem Frantisek L. Celakovsky, and soul singing actress Taylor Dayne. So for God's sake while it's your special day practice your forehand-to-backhand, wear an obscene amount of makeup, study the mating habits of the mongolian butterfly, write a new song which herald's both the birth and identity of a new country (you pick the country but I'd suggest Micronesia), and lip-sync the song "Think" in the mirror with a hairbrush slurring all the lines that end in vowels until you no longer have a career. Why? Because it's your birthday shortie!