Gary Busey Advice to Three Year Olds

Busey Abuse

Never express guilt. At some point in your life, maybe even not too long from now, some- well let's just call them "weak people" are gonna go 'round and 'round with you giving you the business about how you don't treat human beings like animals or maybe that you're not supposed to leave someone locked out of the hotel room and penniless in foreign countries. This is called a guilt trip. It's something women learn from their mother's which is why I call guilt "pussy science."

Don't be afraid to get biblical. Imagine yourself at one of your cities finest restaurants. The girl you're with has to this point in the relationship only submitted to handjobs and phone sex but you're betting two plates of Organic Scottish Salmon and an endive salad that that's all about to change.

"Excuse me sir. I don't see you on our list," comes out of the mouth of the half-gay maitre'd. You explain to him you're role in Predator 2. Nothing. Go biblical.

Tom Sizemore is a dick. Capital D.

Hollywood is dirty with snakes. If they ask you to do a guest appearance on Entourage and you agree to it but then you don't get invited to the wrap party because Mark Wahlberg has a new agent who fears the power of the ministry of the Promise Keepers- who fears the new Christian male that now bathes in righteousness and glory, so much so that this new agent to the show's executive producer believes the lies of his conniving skank girlfriend who has taken it upon herself to accuse you of vomiting down her back some years ago at a similar wrap party for Walker, Texas Ranger through no fault of your own since Chuck Norris's outfit wouldn't splurge for the top shelf shit and you got stuck 8-balling Gordon's vodka with a grip from King of Queens trying to ignore the prostalatizing half-Arab brother-in-law he kept company with all the while...while- okay...okay, I forget where I was going with this one.